No Do-Overs
RE| was born between a hospital door and my truck. Right after a conversation with a young woman She told me about church camp when she was a teen. She told a counselor she, “Just didn’t feel right and need to take a time out from people. Can I go back to the cabin?”
The counselor was kind, and simply said “Dear, it’s just your hormones talking. You’ll be fine in a bit. Now get back out there and play!”
Nothing malicious happened. But something costly did.
Curiosity was replaced with reassurance.
That took place shortly before the first time she tried to take her life.
I met her after her second attempt.
She wasn’t angry.
She didn’t accuse or point a finger.
But she never returned to the church.
RE| isn’t about blame. She never did. It’s about the pause we skip. The questions that remain unasked because of discomfort under pressure. Moments we label “helpful,” that are really for our own relief.
And I was guilty.
A knife turned at the sight of tears in her eyes, “I never went back.”
The words and language I had so carefully refined for corporate offices, conference calls, and parent teacher conferences now had life and death consequences.
In an instant.
All I could do was apologize. Profusely.
How many times had I been dismissive and not curious with others?
What had I said years ago, that others couldn’t release.
Was I even doing it to myself?
Shoulders hunched and trudging, I made it to my truck. I thought I was going to be sick. I sat inside waiting for the AC to kick in and my thoughts raced.
Words.
Sentences.
Pressure.
Outcome.
I tried hospital language. How could she possibly “reframe” that? How could you reconcile courage with a cliche?
Nobody did anything wrong. But it also wasn’t, “right.”
Some things don’t get do-overs.
My name is G. Scott, and I write about words. Join the conversation on my socials and website.
We do talk about tough topics for both work and home. If it gets too heavy or too much, please remember 988—the National Crisis Hotline—for immediate assistance anywhere in the U.S. to talk.
