The Cost of Speed: REaction vs. REsponse in Leadership and Relationships

REtake: The Cost of Speed | REactions or Responses

First we screamed out, “I feel the need…the need for speed!”
And then came the bus that couldn’t slow down.

I loved the movie Speed.

You’re on a packed bus in Los Angeles traffic.
Coffee in one hand and phone in the other on your way to work.
Suddenly you notice the driver’s hands locked at 10 and 2.
Fifty-five miles an hour down city streets. Not one mile per hour less.
If the speed drops, everything explodes.

Speed feels strong.
Decisive.
Capable.
Efficient.

At work, speed looks like confidence.
At home, it looks like control.
In leadership, it feels like clarity.

But speed isn’t always strength.
Speed is often protection disguised as strength.

And relationships quietly pay the cost.  

REfocus: Foot on the Accelerator

We get tired.
We feel exposed.
We get threatened.
We get criticized.

And we react.
Thumbs hammer out the text.
Fingers smash the “send” button.
Voices drop to a warning tone.  

Reaction doesn’t wait for clarity.
Our foot is already pushing the accelerator and we grasp at words.

Fast language keeps momentum.
It keeps the room steady.
It also keeps us from feeling too much.
And for a while that works.

But speed has a cost.

While it makes for a great screenplay,
relationships are found in the wreckage.

Fast language rarely asks questions.
It closes loops before they are fully examined.

Reaction:

·       Escalates quickly

·       Shuts down nuance

·       Preserves ego

·       Protects comfort.

Until it compounds.

One fast dismissal.
One quick assumption.
One immediate defense.
Over time it builds into:

Conversations never finished—or even started.
Feedback never heard. Distance never addressed.
Nothing dramatic. Just cumulative.

REgroup: Slowing the Sentence. Not the Connection

Response is different.
Response doesn’t mean slower IQ or personality.
It means slower language.

Response:

·       Pauses before defending.

·       Names what is actually happening.

·       Chooses tone.

·       Creates space.

Reaction defends who we think we are.
Response decides who we are becoming.  

Most hard moments don’t begin with conflict.

They begin with acceleration.

“Send” punched too quickly.
Tone sharpened too fast.
“I’m fine” delivered on autopilot.

Speed feels productive.
But unchecked speed often creates outcomes that need repair.

RE isn’t about eliminating action.
It’s about interrupting acceleration.

REcognize the language forming.
REspond with intention.
REjoice when connection replaces self-interest.

The cost of speed isn’t always visible.
But the benefit of space usually is.

And sometimes the most decisive thing you can do, is slow down the sentence forming in your mouth.

That’s where RE lives.