The Next Sentence. When Conversations End… But the Words Don’t.
Some days I’m the dog.
Others?
I’m the fire hydrant.
I’m the first to admit I’m not a good writer. Do I hope to be? One day…maybe. My claim to fame is a third-grade essay that got me noticed.
And an essay in college…finished at 3 am the day it was due…that earned me a spot in the National Honors History Society.
While others gain subscribers. I often garner sympathy.
My calling may not be for writing. But I am called to a topic.
Words.
We spend time, energy, and money managing schedules, workload and our image.
But miss the words managing us…
It’s hard enough to be present as we juggle schedules and write out the car payment.
It gets harder regulating emotions while juggling “I’m failing my family…”
And, “What if…”
And, “They’re going to think I’m…”
We were taught to watch out for the sticks and stones.
Not the words.
Broken bones heal…even stronger after a break. Words though
Gossip.
Judgement.
Labels.
Leave far more broken than bones. Instead of learning a fix for them, we carry their weight.
We cope.
Until we can’t.
Can’t shake the anxiety at work.
Can’t shake the anger at home.
Can’t sleep.
Even though the conversation ended, words didn’t.
_______________________
In thirty years of operations and sales, I learned talking less elevated team, leaders, and initiatives higher. I have an intense dislike for talking “at” people and prefer talking with them.
People heard equals people seen.
When people get seen, ceilings get shattered.
As I left corporate behind and started speaking and writing about the weight and speed of words, I got whiplash.
“I can’t believe they said that to me!”
Eyes wide.
Angry.
Voice raised.
I’ll let the person keep talking and the tone changes…
Eyes lower.
Whisper.
“I should never have said that.”
Outrage and shame.
Seconds apart.
Whiplash.
Defining moments years apart.
The funny thing?
No one mentions arms waving.
Doors slamming.
Yelling.
They remember the words.
__________________________
Whiplash.
From the conversation.
Then the emotion.
“I’m still angry.”
I know. You raised your voice at me just remembering it.
“I blew it.”
I know that too because you said the words that made you angry — while avoiding the one that embarrass you now.
Sometimes what’s left unsaid speaks louder.
We’ve all been there and do the same thing. We burn energy carrying the weight of our past. Then burn more trying to forget it.
The mistake is we mis-label the baggage.
It’s not the experiences we’re lifting.
It’s the words we’re carrying.
Labels.
Shame.
Frustration.
Regret.
That’s wordload.
And it’s exhausting.
_____________________
Life is already hard.
Words make it heavy.
“If I could, I’d go back and…”
None of us are time travelers. We can’t re-write history and we don’t get do-overs.
We do get a choice.
We remain captive to the words we’re carrying about our past.
Or re-author them.
Lie about the past? Never.
Repress it like it never happened? Nope.
Live in denial? Impossible.
Yes—all three change the narrative. But burying the past while maintaining an image also costs energy.
And sleep.
“I’ve moved on.” Isn’t the same as freedom. Same captivity…just a different room.
Usually right next to, “I’m fine.”
Or “That was so long ago.”
__________________________
Instead of moving room to room…
Re-authoring starts with a pause.
Not to be passive or avoid the truth.
A pause with purpose…
First to regain perspective.
While retiring labels.
I’m fifty-six years old.
That’s a lifespan of more than 29 million minutes. Averaging sixteen hour days? I’ve spent over 19 million minutes awake.
Nineteen million moments.
Full transparency, I have failed many of them.
Spectacularly.
But not 19 million times.
Not even half that.
In spite of moments saying the wrong thing.
Doing the wrong thing.
Acting the wrong way.
I’m not a failure.
The numbers don’t lie.
But the words do.
The first ones that often need to be re-authored?
“Always,” and “…never.”
“Sometimes,” isn’t sexy.
Neither is sleeping.
Both are necessary.
_____________________
Movie scripts are re-written dozens of times. The first script goes through producers. Then directors. Then the actors themselves. Even during filming, edits are being made to polish lines.
In real time.
The finished product we see? The result of purposeful pauses before, during, and after filming.
Before the hard conversations at work or home, we don’t get the benefit of a team of writers. There’s no test audience. We don’t have the luxury of an editing team.
No one is there to cut out the parts we don’t like.
They don’t get it right the first time.
The highest grossing movie in the US left between forty-five and 60 minutes of film on the editing floor.
We don’t always get it right the first time either.
We don’t have a team.
We do have permission to pause and decide the next sentence.
“I never get it right.”
“I always screw it up.”
Or…
“Sometimes…”
The choice decides how much baggage we carry…and how much we give to the person we’re talking to.
Want to read more about the pause we didn’t know we needed? Check out: https://www.yourdailyre.com/rewritten/its-not-burnout-its-the-redline
If this connected with you, reach out and tell me your story.
My name is G. Scott, and I write about the power…and burden of the words shaping people, organizations, and outcomes. I’ve served over thirty years in the corporate environment scaling operations and sales initiatives and teams regionally and nationally.
I have been blessed with my wonderful wife Alyson, three great kids and my first granddaughter.
The most important part of my work? You. I hope you share your story!
If this has been tough, please reach out to a trusted friend, pastor, or counselor.
