RE|written Words. Labels. Truth. Transformation.
I learned how to silence a room.
The question was.
“If you died tomorrow, how would you want people to describe you in one sentence.”
The question stopped me in my tracks. Eye contact, broken. Shoulders hunched. Jaw clenched. Not from the thought of dying or even missing my family.
I thought of labels…earned and given.
Tears welled.
“He was such a…”
“He did…”
“He didn’t…”
“He could have been…”
All describing moments…While trying to define me.
My response?
“I’m a ‘piece of work.’”
Laughs.
A couple of eye rolls.
Some nods.
Then the question.
“What?”
Eye contact returned.
A confident smile.
“Not because of what I got right or wrong. I wasn’t more or less…”
“… I was loved.”
Crickets.
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Love.
We start with “unconditional…”
Then learn “conditional…”
Not because of actions.
Because of words spoken.
Then internalized.
“You’re just like…”
“If you only…”
“I expected more…”
“Why do you always…”
Words requiring more.
While making us less.
At home, then school.
Following us in our relationships and careers.
Showing up in our faith…and mental health.
"…No matter what…” evolved.
“I love you…if you…”
Instead of:
“I love you…because you’re you.”
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Requirements stack.
So do words.
Grades.
College.
Career.
Relationship.
Finances.
Family.
Perfect picture.
Attempted with imperfect words.
That shaped decisions.
Determined performance.
Decided relationships.
Defining outcomes.
Before we started.
Leaving labels we carry.
Sometimes for a lifetime.
Moments made momentous.
Instead of building momentum.
“I always…”
“Why do I keep…”
“When will I figure it out?”
So we look for more words.
“If I just do…”
“I need to…”
“What if I try…”
Imperfect words.
Layered with unproven words.
To change the foundation of untrue words.
“I love you…as long as you…”
Instead of…
“I love you…even when you…”
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“I can’t…”
“I never…”
Requires a choice.
“I got this…”
Or.
“Remember when you…”
We carry the weight of labels.
Without realizing the cost.
Authenticity.
Voice.
Action.
Potential.
Then ask,
“Why didn’t I…”
After the email or text.
After the meeting.
After the argument.
At 3:00 am.
Rehashing the past.
Rehearsing the future.
Scrolling reels to calm.
Searching for a diagnosis.
That adds another label.
“I love you…but you’re…”
Instead of…
“I love you so much…I’ll even…”
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Choices.
Written by words.
We may never have chosen.
Separating the identity and future we wanted.
From the one we have.
“My purpose is to…”
Lost beneath layers of…
“They’re going to think…”
“ But every time…”
“Who do you think you are?”
Actions aren’t louder.
The words choosing them were.
Without us noticing.
“I love you except…”
Instead of…
“I love you and…”
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Mixed messages.
Ambiguity.
Contradiction.
Until we struggle with anxiety.
Burnout.
Impostor syndrome.
The sprint becomes a trudge.
Because truth was replaced with labels.
Expectations.
And a scorecard.
“…Fearfully and wonderfully made…”
Yet we live in fear.
And forget we are wonderful.
As is.
Because truth was distorted by choices.
To keep up with expectations.
“Be more…”
“Do more…”
Calls to action that sound good.
To make us more…
While stealing time.
Identity.
Peace.
Because the only way to know if we’re good?
Is another scorecard.
Written by someone else.
All while The Truth says…
“Be still…”
The invitation to rest.
Permission to pause.
And recognize…
“You’ve heard it said…”
You must…
You have to…
If you just…
Rewritten.
“But I say…”
Believe.
Abide.
Precision.
That doesn’t require perfection.
“I have to…”
Re-authored…
“It’s finished…”
A scorecard replaced with a relationship.
Because we’re fearfully and wonderfully made…
And God loves us.
As is.
The Word…
Sent to save us from words.
That turn into actions.
Without condemnation.
Or judgement.
Clarity replacing chaos.
“I love you…because you are important enough for me to even send my Son.”
Instead of…
Silence.
Our words exchanged with The Word.
“I’m not enough…”
Traded for,
“I AM.”
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