Wordload Shaping Our Identity: How to Regain Our Voice

Words Shape Identity

One of the most common ice breakers?
“What do you do,”

“I work with the largest Pro customers for The Home Depot.”

Recognition.
Nods and smiles.
Stories.
Great questions.

When I changed my work identity,  my response changed.

“I write about words.”

Pause.
Tilted head.
Words form.

Then stall.

“What?”

I try again adding a warm smile,
“I write about the words that wake us up in the middle of the night.”

“Ohhhhhhh….let me tell you about…”
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KEY TAKEAWAY: You aren’t just living your life. You’re living the words you repeat.

·       Words don’t just describe your life – they define your identity.

·       Wordload is the accumulated weight of unchecked words that turn into labels, scripts, and determine outcomes.

·       Identity scripts form early and often go unchallenged.

·       RE| creates the space to respond, not react.

·       Identity can be RE|authored, one sentence at a time.

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Why the Words We Repeat Matter

What I never hear are “terms” like cognitive load, narrative identity, or cognitive distortions.

They don’t wake us up at 3:00 am.
Terms don’t silence a dinner table, room, or meeting.

They don’t steal our peace.

These do, though.

“I’ll never be good enough.”
“That’s just who I am.”
“I can’t do this.”
“I’m going to look like an idiot.”
“It’s always my fault.”

“Why me…”

Words that became labels.
Labels that became scripts.

Scripts hardened into identity.

Growing up, I tried to help with home repairs.
I was never “good enough.”

Paint wasn’t applied correctly.
Too many strikes to hammer a nail.
Never strong enough to hold a tool correctly.

Before I was 8.

I stopped offering help.
I hate home repairs.
Service events at my church are anxiety inducing.

Mowing my yard is the worst.

The sentences?
Still living rent free.

The anxiety?
Still collecting interest.  

Others spoke the words.

Wordload wrote the script.

I signed off on it.

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What is Wordload and How Does It Affect Your Life

As kids, we raced across the playground singing “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

Effective.
Fun.

False.

We hadn’t learned yet.

We didn’t know we held on to words others speak.
We didn’t know the damage the words replayed cause.
We didn’t know the sheer volume of words we would deal with daily.

Wordload is the accumulated weight of unchecked words forming our stories and scripts.
It shapes our behaviors, relationships, and performance.
It affects our outcomes.

Wordload has three sources:

·       Inherited words from our family.

·       Learned words given by others.

·       Words we tell ourselves.

They may be so ingrained we don’t recognize them anymore.
We may not even remember where we got them.
Or who gave them to us.

Oftentimes…they aren’t even true.

But we feel the weight.

“I never…”
“It never goes me way.”
“I could never be…”
“Why didn’t I speak up?”

“What was I thinking?”

Stomach knots.
Distant stares.
Regret.
Doubt.

“I can do better…”

Not until the words change…
You can’t outrun the first sentence,

Where words are, Wordload follows.

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How Words become Labels, Scripts…and Identity.

“Tell me about yourself.”

First question in an interview.
In a new city.
On a blind date.

We put our best foot forward.
“I accomplished…”
“I’m from…and like to…”
“I love to go…”

Not much thought to answer sometimes.
Always incomplete.
Never authentic.

Usually the best fragments of our identity.

Identity is formed with an internal story.
Past present, and future intertwined.

Shaped by repeated patterns…
Repeated scripts.

There are three primary types.

Outcome categories shaping direction.
Deciding if we win, lose, or just get by.

The injunctions…also known as “The Don’ts”
Telling us who to be.
More commonly who we shouldn’t.

And the drivers. The “Do’s.”
Reminding us of the how to be.

“I wish you were more like…”
Becomes,
“Don’t ask me. I can’t…”

“Let’s try…”
Becomes,
“I always screw this up.”

“This is how it is.”
Becomes,
“This is who I am.”

Scripts become automatic thoughts.
Those thoughts?

Self-reinforcing loops.

We heard every imaginable put down in Basic Training
They didn’t stick.
I became better.

But when they come from:

·       Teachers / Care providers

·       Parents

·       Leaders

·       Peer groups

Identities scripted for success, health, and a future.
Rewritten to  just get by.

Words that get replayed.
Begin to replace our dreams.

Our voice.
Silenced.

Our choice.
Taken.

Our potential.
Reduced.

“Tell me about yourself?”
Changes…

“Who do you think you are?”

And the response?
Silence.
Eyes lowered.

Frozen.  

Oftentimes, we find ourselves looking for new sentences.
New habits.
New systems.
New mindsets.

New words.
New layers.

Sometimes, what appears to be relief may actually reinforce.
We tell the mirror one thing.
While it reminds us of yesterday.

Sometimes the best solution is addition by subtraction.
Sometimes we have to slow down before we can speed up.

Try accelerating over a speed bump.

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What is RE| and How Does It Help Rewrite the Script

Instead of more words.
We use the ones we have.

Better.

We start with two letters.
An R and E.
They give us permission to pause.

To rewrite and become more.

As a simple prefix, RE| rests before action.
Before our next thought.
Before the next word we say.
Before the next choice.

To allow a response.
And prevent a reaction.

Instead of,
“I always…”

A recognition.
A rewrite.

“Last time, I blew it…but this time I can…”

A retirement of a partial truth.
A reclamation of our voice and choice.

Our potential?
Restored.

Scripts that once controlled, can now be REauthored.
One at a time.

And the best version of our identity?
REawakened.

|ER allows us to rebuild, better.

Leader.
Healthier.
Stronger.

Because you took the pen?
Momentum.
One word at a time.

Because the scripts are being rewritten?
The next step belongs to you.

Not the past.
Not the present.
Not the future.

And not others.

Because you are REauthoring?
“Who do you think you are?”

Becomes a smile.
A twinkle.
Peace.

“Not perfect.”

“Rescripted.”

My name is G. Scott, and I write about the power…and burden of the words shaping people, organizations, and outcomes. I’ve served over thirty years in the corporate environment scaling operations and sales initiatives and teams regionally and nationally.

I have been blessed with my wonderful wife Alyson, three great kids and my first granddaughter.

The most important part of my work? You.  I hope you share your story!
If this has been tough, please reach out to a trusted friend, pastor, or counselor.
If I brought up anything that caused a struggle—please reach out to 988 the National Crisis Hotline immediately. They are there to listen and help.